Mexico

Yay!! I've officially booked everything for Mexico. No more slacking. I booked my plane ticket earlier this week and today I just booked my hotel room (for a few extra nights at that). Price wise, I spent more than I planned but I feel I got a deal worth it. All I have left is to get my visa taken care off and to wait.... and then develop a panic attack as I realize that "oh, crap. I am going to Mexico." :D Well that was all I wanted to update briefly. I will spend a bit more time outlining the plans and current happenings when I don't have work and homework to do. <3

October Pacts

New novel started! :D

You make my brain hurt.

So I'm sitting here, after you log out and leave me with your comments (smooth btw) and my first response is a sarcastic half hearted, "oh yeah, I'll try that next time I'm unlucky in love" because I realize I‘m some what apprehensive when you say that you are leaving me with one more thought. Then I actually think about the conversation and I realize that part of why you frustrate me so much is not because you wont “talk” to me or help me with Spanish but because you make me uncomfortable. You challenge me to look at my own life and take stock of it, and even realize where I can be better and should be better… and that isn’t a place I want to be. You casually mention your history and how you can’t close yourself off of the risk of love (for good reason) and then I agree with you. We both conclude (which makes it worse because I happen to use my own thoughts and words here, so I can’t deny comprehension) that the only way to live is one step at a time. Then you advise me that I need patience, which only further frustrates me because it is true, although I couldn’t quite understand why you decided to point that out when we were talking about Your having to live life step by step, not me (again denial maybe? haha). Then the closing zinger comes in, mentioning a some what random fact that when one is unlucky in love they tend to be lucky elsewhere… and I should test my luck elsewhere (which implies I am currently unlucky in love)… of course that makes me sit here and think (damn you). While I’m sitting here trying to ponder this (probably way to much) I realize that maybe.. Its not that I’m unlucky in love (currently) but that I can’t be unlucky in love if I’m closed off and trying to impatiently live life it in leaps and bounds, not step by step. And to that I have to just say, “damn it quit making me realize I can be a better person”.