A Surrealistic Enigma: "You have a lot to learn still"

I've recently been told that I have a lot to learn still and was recommended a book on Taoist principles, Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. I was originally taken aback by the comment, as it sounded (to me) to be argumentative and potentially insulting. Upon further consideration (and asking for clarification) I was assured that was not that case and just a reaction of my paranoid and suspicious nature. I should be getting the book sometime today and will update on what I've learned.

I've gotten my camera repaired and I'm working like crazy trying to save up my money to afford my travel plans to Mexico. Yes those are still on. I am waiting to hear back from a hostel that seems promising, though I plan to call them by next week if I still haven't received an email reply. I've started reading up on my travel destination and have been working on my Spanish language skills via a web program offered with the public library. I am still waiting to hear from NMSU, but am no longer holding out much hope. I figure if I don't hear back from them my new tentative plan has me travelling to Mexico this fall for classes. Then working, paying down debt, and making arrangements to potentially transfer/get accepted into UNM in a year or two. Otherwise I might find some international school arrangement or just move to a foreign country. Not sure yet. Hahah.

I've been getting the desperate itch to either work on my writing (gasp!) or get out there and take photos. I wish I had more dark room experience... I really want to CREATE my images in the way I can't with digital. But alas I will focus on my digital work this weekend. I was thinking of either taking a road trip or getting up at an ungodly hour to drive somewhere scenic. I will definitely post up whatever I end up creating as the desire to birth some form of art is building up desperately.

The poetic movements of nature, music, and life are beating a too fast rhythm in my blood. My soul is reaching out, clutching at anything that offers a flash, glimpse, or whisper of art. I'm finding music in words, poetry in nature, and art in my dreams. I've got no choice. I need to learn something new. I need a challenge, a chance to throw myself onto a blank canvas and absorb everything around me. I'll be the mixing pot, the palette for all the colors. Then I will channel everything I've become, using any media possible to CREATE.

I want something interesting, something enticing... I apologize to those of you I find fascinating. I know that my interest can possibly be irritating and annoying. I can't help the fact that I want to learn from you, learn about you... You interest me and that is a novel experience that allows me to want to grow, and create, and potentially emulate. Accept it for the compliment it is and understand that my interest will only be fleeting. Share with me, as if I was the blank canvas of your art. Leave with me the words, the sounds, the thoughts, the actions that you would leave to humanity if it was your chance to make a mark that would last. Humanity is so multifaceted. There are cultural, social, and gender differences. Language barriers and foreign concepts. I want to see the world through your eyes, just briefly, share with me what you see, think, and maybe... even feel. I don't mean this to sound creepy. It is the first time I have managed to express how I feel when I'm creating. When I take my camera and try to capture that one moment on film. I want to share this... concept with the people who would see my art. When I write, I want to create a world that I see, that I dream, that is just beyond the tips of my fingers to let my readers live it. To let them feel and believe, and maybe even escape or a chance to experience a life that could have been.

This is my goal for my travel, for my learning and my experiences. I don't want to just read about them or see them second hand. I want to capture them. I want to share them. I want to absorb them and enrich myself. Embolden, broaden my horizons, challenge my accepted and conventional norms. I want to push the boundaries and learn every facet of my being. I saw a quote today on stumbleupon.com (god I love that site) and I'm going to copy it below. This proverb was amazing. I really had to stop and think about it. I tend to agree with it. And I feel that the best way to "air" out these rooms is to push the boundaries, and redefine the walls of that "complete person" :